My husband and I got to spend a glorious 4 day weekend together this weekend. And it was much needed. We have not had the easiest road so far in our very young marriage, but we are doing the very best we can to put each other first, while also taking care of family during a difficult time. I really did not think we would have to struggle with adversity so soon. Whenever anyone (before the rough patch hit in November) would ask how married life was so far, I would always reply, “It’s great! Piece of cake. But nothing tough has happened yet.” That frequently uttered sentiment was ominous—I see that now, looking back. I was certainly assuming we would encounter rocky roads (who doesn’t?), but nothing can prepare you for what actually does happen. I wish we would have been able to have a bit more bliss under our belt before we had to face the real world and all its problems. But I know that is not realistic. So, we keep doing the best we can, with the tools that we have, to be the best spouses we can be.
Yesterday we took a little road trip to San Diego. We stopped at a quaint winery in Encinitas and enjoyed a light lunch. We ended up at Seaport Village and walked around, talked, and enjoyed the beautiful February day by the water. In the car we came across an article with marriage vows written by someone who researches love and marriage. We were both struck by them, as I read them aloud to him, and we vowed to live by them the best we can.
The first one was: I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become.
We have always been the types to welcome and search for self-change, becoming better, healthier, happier people as we stumble along through life. I’m glad we are both like this, and I’m glad that we usually see the good in each other. We talked about what we appreciated in each other and how we both wish to change: I wanted to work on my patience; he is the best teacher of this. I am lucky.
Whether adversity comes later or earlier doesn’t matter. It is always there. And I am reminded of the quote that I have in my classroom above my whiteboard in prominent big black letters: “There is no education like adversity.” While it is not always fun, it is always true. I’ve learned so much more about my husband in the last few months that might have taken me years to learn otherwise. And l love him more than ever, for who he is now, and for who he is to come.
Simple Crockpot Pot Roast
1 package chuck roast (2-4 pounds)
6-8 whole carrots, cut into 3rds
3 sprigs thyme
3 sprigs rosemary
2-3 tablespoons Worchester sauce
1 cup beef stock or red wine
Kosher salt + freshly ground black pepper
Optional : baby red potatoes or other veggies and/or **1 sliced onion and 2-3 chopped cloves of garlic
**leave out for low FODMAPs diet!
Generously salt and pepper chuck roast on both sides. Place in the bottom of your slow cooker, and add the stock or wine. Drizzle the Worchester sauce over the roast, and add the herbs and carrots (salt and pepper the carrots) to the sides of the crockpot. If you wish, you can add the potatoes too! I just used the carrots and it was a great, hearty meal.
Cook on low for 8 hours, and enjoy!